I was driving home on Thursday and got rear-ended. My truck looked totaled to me, it had to get towed away from the site of the accident and we won't know until Monday whether or not it is even fixable.

I didn't receive any really serious injuries, but I was taken to the emergency room since the impact of the crash was hard and I started having whiplash symptoms pretty much immediately. Since then, I've had lots of headaches and a stiff/sore neck and lower back. They've got me on vicodin, which helps but makes me sleepy and fuzzy in the brain, and I haven't really left the house since coming home from the ER.

I was hoping I would feel lots better by today. Unfortunately, when I woke up this morning I hurt worse than I did yesterday and have had to continue taking the pain medication regularly. Blech.

Because of that, I haven't had a chance to get my hair dyed or make arrangements for a location to shoot.

Hello darlings,
Just wanted to take a moment to drop you all a note on this lovely Thanksgiving evening. Here is what I, Stella Marie, am thankful for:

1. Opportunities - Life can be frustrating and stressful at times, and that can make it really hard to see the good and the beauty that exists in this world. I know I have been through my share of hard times, and still face challenges on a day-to-day basis. The trick is to win by coming away from the situation with positives, as a better person. Figure out what new chances you have earned and choose to rise above the negativity of that situation.

2. Honesty - There are fewer better feelings in the world than knowing you have no secrets. I don't think anyone can truly say that they have none at all, but I think a wonderful goal is to be as enthusiastically truthful as you can with as many people as you can. The more people know the truth about you, the more people know YOU. Honesty makes relationships more rewarding.

3. Support - We all have people in our lives that have helped us up when we've fallen, and we all have helped someone else when they've needed the same. Let's meditate on that wonderful cycle and how it fuels life and the universe.
Okay, that's enough hippie shit from me! ;)

I hope you were all able to share this day with people who mean a lot to you, whether in person or in spirit. I love you all!

xoxoxoxo
Stella Marie

x-posted to AmazonStella Yahoo! Group

I get to do a masturbation show for a friend of a friend soon.

I'm looking forward to it - it should be fun, and I am sure that this gentleman has never had his mind blown by an Amazon the likes of me before!

He doesn't even know what he is in for yet...

Although I was only planning on DJing for other girls last night, and not stripping, as I've been dealing with a back injury lately...

I couldn't help it and ended up on stage for a few songs myself. What can I say? I love music, I love dancing, and I love to be naked. Combining those three just seems natural.

I also love the looks on the faces of those lucky enough to be present when I walk out on stage.

When I am stripping, the stage and pole and runway become my altar. I am the goddess, commanding all the attention and directing all the energy in the room. The gentlemen and ladies seated around the stage have come to worship at my altar, and the dollar bills that appear at my feet are their offerings to appease me.

The music starts out slowly, and I step towards the spotlight. I am leading the meditation to prepare you for the heated performance in which I am now poised to engage you. Each deliberate step increases my pulse. Swinging around the pole, sliding down the pole, strutting down the runway towards you, turning on one heel, grabbing at my breasts, throwing myself down on my knees in front of you, crawling, throwing my head back, legs in the air, on my back, working up a sweat, making me that much more excited to touch my skin.

This is the rush I get from stripping to music that means something to me.
***
Last night's set:
Gridlock - Pallid
Android Lust - Stained (Winter)
Dryft - Caloc

Lately I have been having a lot of dreams about masturbation.

In these dreams, the urge to get myself off is almost overpowering. I am feverishly searching for a private little corner to sneak off to and touch myself in exactly the ways that I know I love to be touched, and bring myself to an intense, explosive orgasm.

I am sure that it has significance beyond the specifically sexual - I think it has to do with me learning how to tap into and satisfy my own needs. It is about my life-long journey towards blissful independence, my personal evolution.

Still, when I wake up from these dreams, I am instantly reaching for the toys in my nightstand...

Whee! my very first journal entry! i love fanmail! send me your naughty thoughts!